It’s not a farewell but only a goodbye

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I never thought to write all that so soon,

I never thought to do it only three days after the celebration of his birth,

I never thought it was so hard to find, once again, the right words to say and forgive me if there would be some mistakes or a redundance of opinions I already expressed but in this moment my fingers are running through the keyboard of my computer without a real sense and probably he is guiding me for writing all that.

Just like everything he has done in his life, David Bowie forked over his last bomb, leaving the world speechless in front of his death.

An unexpected news that my dad gave me this morning when I woke up, I would never ever thought his message could be about a sad news like this one. I had to read it three or four times and my heart stopped to beat for a very long second. What happened in the last three hours are only tears, tears I can’t stop.

David was like an uncle or a young grandpa for me, I talked about him like he was part of me, part of my family and he is.

He said goodbye in silence, surrounded by his wonderful wife Iman, the love of his life, Duncan, his amazing and talented son and Alexandria “Lexi”, her little daughter that have lost his father at only 15 years old.

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If I think of yesterday, it was like I celebrated him without knowing there were his last hours on this earth: I spent my morning watching the DVD of his last tour in 2003, then my parents and I went to some old friends of us and had lunch together. For the occasion I took my graduation thesis with me so they could check it out and we spent few hours talking about him. And yesterday night, I wasn’t able to fell asleep because “Where the fuck did Monday go?” a verse of Bowie’s Girl Loves Me included in Blackstar was playing in my head in a booming way, more than the last two days, and I was like: “please, stop it. I wanna sleep!” and in general I didn’t sleep so well. It was like my subconscious knew it.

I’m angry because I was born in 1990 and not ten or twenty years earlier so I could have had the chance to attend one of his concerts and maybe met him.

I’m angry because he never known about me.

I’m angry because who will be able to answer to my questions now?

It’s a strong phrase but for me the real conception of art and music died with him. There are so many artists I love, follow and admire, but he was beyond anyone and anything.

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The man who fell on earth come back home.

This is not a farewell, David, but only a goodbye. 

Thanks for have taught me so many things!

See you soon, hero! 

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. ben1674 says:

    I couldn’t believe what I heard this morning on the radio, learning the death of David Bowie. I was devastated. Such an icon, a great artist that leaves us. I grew up with his music during my childhood, especially the big hits “Let’s dance, “China Girl”,”This is not America” or “Absolute Beginners” to give just examples.
    In France and the French-speaking part of Belgium, we ask ourselves what happens because a famous French-speaking singer died (Michel Delpech), a famous French-speaking actor died (Michel Galabru) begin 2016 and now David Bowie. Of course, Bowie is a worldwide icon but the two others had also in their style a very long career and are now, as Bowie, in heaven. Rest in peace, David.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. irenek90 says:

      I’m speechless, I don’t know what to say. I feel a hole inside of me. And if I’m in this way, I can’t even imagine how Iman, Duncan and Lexi feel…
      The aunt of my dad used to quote “the law of the three” in celebs world, usually always three celebs pass away in a bunch of days but actually I never thought it was his moment.
      The last time I felt in this way when my two grandparents died (the dad of my mom and my dad’s dad), he was and is part of my family.

      Like

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